Inclusive Premarital Counseling
All You Need To Know (Updated 2023)
As more people seek to build strong and healthy marriages, inclusive premarital counseling has become an increasingly popular option.
Whether you're just starting to think about getting married or are already engaged, understanding the benefits of inclusive premarital counseling can help you make informed decisions about your relationship and future together.
I work as an LPCC and an inclusive premarital counselor, licensed in both Florida and Colorado. My practice specializes in working with clients within the LGBTQ+ community.
In this article, we'll explore what inclusive premarital counseling is, why it's important, and what you can expect if you choose to participate:
⚡Bonus: Download our free PDF: 100 Premarital Questions To Get To Know Your Partner(s)
What is inclusive premarital counseling?
Traditionally, premarital counseling was tied to religious institutions, and focused on the values within those institutions.
Even today, many providers utilize these viewpoints to guide their counseling methods.
Inclusive premarital counseling focuses on the real MVPs, you.
Not just because each relationship is unique, but because each relationship should be celebrated!
Inclusive premarital counseling utilizes you as the expert on you, and how to work together as partners towards a fulfilling and happy life, by your definition.
Do you have experience working with the LGBTQ+ community?
Yes! 😄
I began my counseling journey working with LGBTQ+ youth, focusing on gender affirming care.
I then began my private practice with a similar goal, to support our community.
I continue to work with folx exploring their gender and sexuality, changes in their familial relationships, and coping with the shit life throws at us.
I wanted to offer premarital counseling because I didn’t see a lot of options out there that were welcoming and informed of the LGBTQ+ community. It is my goal to create a space for us to find support and grow in our relationships!
💫 Read more about me here in my bio.
What is the success rate of premarital counseling?
The success rate of premarital counseling, as measured by improvements in relationship satisfaction and reductions in divorce rates, can vary depending on the study and the population being studied.
Here are a few findings from studies that have looked at the impact of premarital counseling:
A meta-analysis of 17 studies found that couples who participated in premarital counseling reported significantly higher levels of relationship satisfaction compared to couples who did not receive counseling (Stanley, et al., 2006).
A randomized controlled trial found that couples who participated in a comprehensive premarital education program had a significantly lower rate of divorce (3%) compared to a control group (15%) over a 4-year period (Markman, et al., 1994).
It's important to note that these findings are general trends and not representative of every relationship. Success in premarital counseling and in marriage is dependent on many factors, including the partners’ communication skills, their level of commitment, and their willingness to work on their relationship.
In my practice, it has been very helpful for folks in the relationship to learn how to love and support each other. We’ve worked on how to best handle conflict, how to ask for what we need, and how to make decisions together. I’ve also worked with many clients on how to better love each other, especially when one or more people have trauma in their history.
🌈 Schedule a free consultation with me to see if we are a good fit!
Does premarital counseling reduce divorce rates?
Premarital counseling has been shown to have a positive impact on reducing divorce rates.
According to a meta-analysis of studies mentioned in this article by American Psychological Organization, couples who participate in premarital counseling have a 30% lower divorce rate compared to couples who do not participate in counseling.
Additionally, a study by the University of Denver found that couples who participated in premarital counseling reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction and were less likely to experience relationship problems in the first few years of marriage.
While there is no guarantee that premarital counseling will prevent divorce, the data suggests that it can have a positive impact on the long-term success of a marriage.
When is premarital counseling a good idea?
Premarital counseling is a good idea for partners who want to build a strong foundation for their future together.
Here are some situations when premarital counseling may be particularly beneficial:
Before getting engaged: If you're considering getting engaged, premarital counseling can help you get to know each other better and discuss important topics before making a lifelong commitment.
Before getting married: Even if you've been together for a long time, premarital counseling can help you address any lingering concerns or questions before tying the knot.
After major life changes: If you or your partner(s) have experienced a major life change, such as a new job, the birth of a child, or a loss, premarital counseling can help you navigate the changes together and ensure that your relationship stays strong.
If you have different backgrounds or cultural beliefs: Premarital counseling can help you work through any differences and ensure that you're on the same page together when it comes to important topics like religion, family, and values.
If you have a history of relationship problems: If you or your partner(s) have a history of relationship problems, premarital counseling can help you address these issues and build a stronger foundation for your future together.
Ultimately, premarital counseling is a good idea for any folx who want to build a strong and healthy relationship. By addressing important topics and working through any challenges together, you can set the stage for a long and happy marriage.
How long should you do premarital counseling?
The length of premarital counseling will vary depending on the partners’ needs and the counselor's recommendations.
On average, premarital counseling involves 6 to 8 sessions, typically spread out over several weeks or months.
Some folks may only need a few sessions, while others may benefit from ongoing counseling.
The length of premarital counseling is ultimately determined by the goals of the people in the relationship and the progress they make in each session. If the counselor determines that more time is needed to address specific issues, they may suggest additional sessions.
In general, the goal of premarital counseling is to help partners feel confident and prepared for marriage, and the length of counseling will be tailored to achieve this goal.
How can we prepare for premarital counseling?
Identify your goals: Before attending premarital counseling, think about what you hope to achieve. Do you want to improve communication, resolve conflicts, or understand each other's perspectives better? Having a clear idea of your goals will help you get the most out of the counseling experience.
Be open and honest: Premarital counseling is an opportunity to discuss sensitive topics and address any concerns you may have. Be open and honest with your partner(s) and the counselor, and be prepared to listen to their perspectives as well.
Make time for counseling: Scheduling premarital counseling can be challenging, especially if you're busy with work and other responsibilities. Make sure you allocate enough time for counseling and prioritize this important investment in your relationship.
Research different approaches: There are many different approaches to premarital counseling, including faith-based, relationship-focused, and skills-based. Research the different options and choose one that resonates with you and your partner(s).
Come with questions and topics in mind: Pre-prepare a list of questions or topics you would like to discuss in the counseling session. This can help guide the conversation and ensure that you get the most out of the time you spend in counseling.
What are three important questions to ask before getting married?
It is important to remember that everyone’s relationship is different, but these questions can help identify any potential issues or areas of growth before they become bigger problems:
How do you define and prioritize your personal boundaries and needs in a relationship?
How do you see us incorporating and respecting each other's cultural, family, and individual backgrounds?
How do you plan to support and actively address any potential power imbalances in our relationship (e.g. financial, emotional)?
Having deep discussions before getting married can also provide an opportunity to develop a plan for addressing future challenges in a positive and collaborative way.
As a result, partners who engage in premarital conversations tend to have stronger relationships and higher rates of marital satisfaction.relationship-focused, and skills-based. Research the different options and choose one that resonates with you and your partner(s).
How much does premarital counseling cost?
The cost of premarital counseling varies depending on each couple.
I generally recommend 6 to 8 sessions every other week to allow for time to do homework and practice skills!
Here at Cadenza Counseling, we offer live sessions with a licensed counselor for $110 each, but also offer a discount to $85 per session if paid in full by the second session.
Frequently asked questions:
Does insurance cover premarital counseling?
Some insurance plans, especially those that include mental health coverage, may provide partial or full reimbursement for premarital counseling.
It's best to check with your insurance provider to determine what services are covered and what your out-of-pocket expenses might be.
Keep in mind that some insurance plans have specific requirements for premarital counseling, such as a referral from a primary care physician, a minimum number of sessions, or a certain type of provider.
How long should premarital counseling take?
Between 6-8 weeks.